Dumb-Heart's Voice

kuch Baaten jo Dil me ankahi reh gyi

काश ! थोड़ा और वक़्त होता


काश थोड़ा और वक़्त होता तेरे पास !

बातें तो दूर की बात है ,

अभी तो जी भर के देखा भी नही |

 

साँसों को रोक रखा था मैंने,

कहीं वो लम्हा उड़ा ना ले जाए!

चंद लम्हों मे लोग ज़िंदगी जी लेते हैं,

मैंने तो अभी साँस ली भी नहीं|

 

तेरी नज़र के उठने का इंतेज़ार करता रहा,

कहीं मेरी पलकें ना थक जायें,

लोग तो आँखों मे डूब जाते हैं,

मैंने तो निगाहें मिलाई भी नहीं |

 

हाथों से आँचल छूटने का इंतेज़ार करता रहा,

काश हवा उड़ा के मेरी ओर ले आए,

लोग तो हाथ थाम कर ज़िंदगी जी लेते हैं,

मैंने तो तेरा दुपट्टा तक छुआ नहीं |

 

काश थोड़ा और वक़्त होता तेरे पास !

जाते हुए पलट कर तो देखा होता

मैं खड़ा था वहीं, कहीं गया नही ||

 

मुझे गुड़िया बिहनी है


|

credit: Atanu pal

credit: Atanu pal

बाबुल मैं बेटी हूँ तुम्हारी
कोई बेज़ान गुड़िया तो नही
तुमने मुझे दुल्हन बना दिया
अब तक तो मैंने अपनी गुड़िया बियाही नही||

मुझे बोझ समझकर मुझपर बोझ डाल दिया
अब तक तो मैं चलना सीखी भी नही||
मैं तो खुशियाँ लेकर आई थी
तुमने मुझे ही रोता विदा कर दिया||

कम से कम बचपन तो जी लेने दो
अभी दादी नानी की कहानी सुननी है
मेरे भी तो कुछ सपने है
मुझे अपनी गुड़िया बिहनी है||

माँ तुम ही कुछ समझा दो
कुछ आप बीती ही याद कर लो|
तुम भी तो मेरे जैसी थी ,
क्या बचपन खोकर तुम खुश थी||

मैं तुम्हारा ही अंश हूँ
देखो मेरी आँखों में
जिनमें सिर्फ़ पानी है
अभी मत ब्याहो मुझे-
अपनी गुड़िया बिहनी है||

khoobsurat Udaasi


ये उदासी भी खूबसूरत है
ज़िंदगी को सोचने का मौका देती है ||
उदासी तो उमंग जागती है
खुशी का एहसास दिलाती है||
 
 
जो अगर अंधेरा देखा ही ना हो
तो सुबह का क्या मज़ा?
जो काँटों पर चले ही ना हो
तो मखमल की नर्मी का क्या मज़ा?
 
 
जो दिल टूटा ना हो कभी
तो चाहत के एहसास का क्या पता?
जो सपने टूटे ना हो कभी
तो पाने की ज़िद्द मे क्या नशा?
 
 
उदासी  खूबसूरत है
इसका आलिंगन करके तो देखो
उदासी को पहचानने के बारे में सोचो
इससे तो खुशी भी जलती है, तभी तो
दूर भगाकर खुद पास आ जाती है| ;)
ये उदासी तो खूबसूरत है
खुशी का एहसास दिलाती है||


लक्ष्य काफ़ी ऊपर है ,
उड़ान तो तेज़ ही होगी |
गर उड़ने की चाह हो तो हाथ पकड़ना,
नहीं तो साथ छोड़ना मजबूरी होगी |

Boondon se bhar le daaman


XYZ

credits: artist@tumbhi.com

नदियाँ सूख गयी हैं
धरती पर आने लगी है दरारें
ममता के दूध के सहारे
बचपन कब तक ज़िंदगी गुज़रे!

ना कहीं छावों है
बस धूप मे सुलगते पावं है|
माँ की आँचल भी सूख गयी है
ये देखकर भी मेघ क्यू इतना निर्दयी है? :( :’(

……..

पर आज लगता है  :D
लाचारी की चीख ने इंद्र की आँखें खोली है
आज तो बस सबको बूँदों से खेलनी होली है|

नदियाँ फिर से बह जाएँगी
दरारों से अंकुर फुट कर निकलेंगे
आँचल की ठंडक लौट कर आएगी
आज सारी बूँदों को दामन मे अपने  समेट लेंगे!

….mushkil hoga


अश्कों से पहले की आँखों को पहचान लो,
जो बह चले तो रोकना मुश्किल होगा|

चटकने से पहले दिल के हालात जान लो,
जो टूटे तो जोड़ना मुश्किल होगा|

खफा होने का अंदाज़ पहचान लो,
जो जुदा हुए तो मिलना मुश्किल होगा|

खामोश लबों का राज़ जान लो,
जो चुप हुए तो कुछ कहना मुश्किल होगा|

Insaniyat ki zubani


Chalte chalte achanak
jab ruk kar dekha
aas paas koi na tha
bas mai akeli khadi thi

mai aagey nikal aayi
ya log aagey badh gaye
ya ho sakta hai shayad
maine hi galat mod le liya

Mai toh wahi hu
badal hi nahi paayi
pata nhi kaise logon ne
itni jaldi khudko badal liya

Mere dost “khudgarzi” ne kaha
tere hi kaaran tu akeli hai
jo tu bhalai sikhaane nikal padi hai
dekh mere paas logon ka mela hai.

Door se “budhapa” aata dikhai diya
“usey ab jaakar meri yaad aayi”?
Mujhe gale lagane nhi aaya tha
usey to meri madad ki jarurat thi.

or bhi “gareeb” aur “laachar” aate dikhai diye
unhe bhi madad ki hi jarurat thi.
Par maine bhi kehkar inkaar kar diya,
kyu-
tumne mujhe rah dikhai thi ky
jab maine awaaz lagai thi!

nhiiii..
Mai bhi khudgarzi k paas ja rhi hu :(
nhi Mai kyu khudko badal rahi hu!!
ab mujhe bhi apni taakat dikhani hai
wapas wahi bheed jutani hai ||

For Zindagi


एक उलझी सी पहेली है
ये ज़िंदगी है, जो साथ मेरे चली है|
गम हो या खुशी, फिर भी ये रही है,
धूप और छाओं की ये सहेली है|

बेइंतेहा नफरत भी इसी से हुई है,
बस फिर भी, ये ज़िंदगी ही तो अपनी है !
ऐसी अपनी सहेली से प्यार क्यूँ ना करूँ,
थोड़ी मस्ती और खुशी, इसकी भी तो बनती है | :)

The 1st Call….(Love, friendship, break-up, reunion , about to happen)


The 1st Call

Its Friday night, Bangalore

I was half lying on my bed, the bed in a corner touching the two adjacent walls, I was happy for the walls, I could rest my pillow at some angle to the wall and bed to keep my head high enough to see the laptop which was managing between my belly and thighs

As usual I was on my Facebook page and slowly saw all the greenery on the right bottom of the page of the going off. No friend is online, no one to chat anymore. I switched to my favourite game of hitting bubbles.

I was at my room in a girls PG. Two females in a room, so even I had a roomie. Our beds were at two opposite corners of the small room placed at 90 degrees to each other, interrupted by the entrance. It was late in the night and I had to go to work in the morning. Yeah, Even Saturday was working for me. I was still awake, a nocturnal creature- I guess anyone who stays in college hostel becomes one- so the habit was still there, especially when parents are not there to observe you. But, my roomie was happily enjoying in her world of dreams, lying in another corner.

 

Suddenly I got a glimpse of the laptop clock- Its 2:00 AM!! Sh*t, what was I doing?!!

“Oops!!.too late. I have to get up at 7 in morning”. But I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just cant sleep. How can I play this stupid game of hitting bubbles, that to this time?  Need to sleep yaar.

Trin trin.. My phone rang..i still had that old ringtone for my phone.

‘What the f**k !! Who the hell is calling at this time? Just when I am planning to sleep’ talking to myself as I don’t expect calls at this time

Ah..- ‘Goaty calling ‘ my phone displayed

“Hmm..so u got time to call. After a month. but at midnight.” “Damn but why are you awake?..Shall I take the call??,..ok receive it, I cant miss his call” . I was talking to myself while the phone was ringing

“hello”. I decided to take the call

“hii baby”.

“What!! You moron, is this the time to call. I have office tomorrow”.. was bit angry, not with him. Actually I wasn’t happy with the idea of working on Saturday and was slightly jealous of others having an off.

“I wanted to share something with you, but fine. Its ok, you can sleep, bye” he replied being disappointed. Still he knew that I wont disconnect. I knew him, he knew me.

 

“stop it. Come on say. Anyhow I wasn’t feeling that sleepy” my mood gets a little better

“O-oh , whats up sweetheart??”..he asked in a sexy whispering husky voice.

“Dreaming of you, while hitting those bubbles which jump up everytime in my heart and stomach when I think of you” I

“Oh really. You still think of me? I know you were always after me in college days. Cumon’ now accept you love me”

“Shut-up..How cud you think I can love youuu.. Get back to the world man!

And now enough, get back, you goatzy”..Both of us started laughing. and suddenly a third voice came

“sleep or just get lost” oops!! My roomie woke up and shouted as if she just had a break up.

I silently moved out to the common room, took a chair and sat near window to continue with Goaty.

“I just shut my lappy and was planning to get off to sleep” I replied to his first question. “why are u awake at this time?”

“Just like that. Wasn’t sleepy, have an off tomorrow?” “How’s your life in Bangalore and howz your Bossie?” asking the last part naughtily.

Once I had told him that I had a big crush on my Boss.

“Yaar..this place is too boring” sad, taking a deep breath “and just forget about my boss, he is too annoying these days” angry and pissed off with job. “Missing you all a lot. Wanna get back with you guyz and enjoy as before”

“Same here. Just come back and we gonna stay together and have fun”

“Wish that was possible”

“Yeah.”

Both of us are sad. Suddenly Goaty said with spark and excitement “Remember the first day”

Oh yaa..its was memorable exciting……..

We had a long chat for more than an hour, cherishing those old memories. We discussed about all the important days, almost all the gossips about each and every buddy in class, college and hostel. A long long never-ending chat with lots of giggles, smiles and laughs, some tears as well.

 

“Now too much of stupid and useless talks”, I suddenly stopped that topic.

“come to the point and tell me; what was that excitement on your Facebook status about?”

“haha” he laughs  shyishly and naughtily

“just tell me now, don’t laugh like a fool”.

I was getting irritated and after pleading to him for few minutes; he finally decided to tell.

“Someone texted me last Sunday” (OMG!! He was really blushing)

“who was it? Whats so great in that? I receive ‘n’ number of messages a day. ”

“O Duffo!!.. Its definitely special.”

———No answer.. I looked at phone. CALL DISCONNECTED

I dialed back.

“Yeah, why did you disconnect.”

“Finished off the balance”

“Miser!! As always..huh.. Anyways, tell me who was that”  I had no time to abuse. Something interesting was supposed to come up, as we say there was some Masala  in the story.

 

“Promise that you wont disclose to anyone, Not even the closest person, not a single soul, not even to the person am talking about”

“Stop acting yaar!!..Do I ever.?? Ohk I wont disclose. Tell.. Promise”

“Maahi !!” slowly he said, still happy and blushing.

 

“What??” I stood up from the chair.  “Did I hear it right? Don’t joke. How’s this possible? How can she contact you? How can she not tell me?” ..This was simply unbelievable

“Yup. She sent a message”

“What did she write? Did you reply?”. I was totally mesmerized.

“A short message, to wish our friendship anniversary”

“Only that?? ‘like happy anniversary’ and that’s it”

“Nopes.. There was little more in it. She was missing me, our friendship, togetherness n all.”. He described the message. “I will forward you the message after the call”

“fine. Don’t forget to”. I made sure that he sends me the SMS. “why don’t you talk to Kunal and sort out things”

“I am ready but he doesn’t want to and you also know him ”

“hmm,..but her dare to text you shows how badly she is missing you. After all she loved you.” I grinned.

“Shut up.. there was nothing like that”

-……

…..silly talks ……

“Damn yaar!! Low battery.. let me plugin ..Oh sh*t NO …………… Get lost. Its 5AM!!!!” I was shocked as I realized, I need to report to work for a hectic day and we disconnected.

Goaty dropped me a SMS, message that Maahi sent him. It read-

“Remember!! Our anniversary today. I can still run through each and every moment spent together. Though we are not in touch anymore, I miss us a lot, I know you too. Disha updates me. Happy Frnshpvrsary. Luv ya despite of anything :( :’(  :)”

 

I was wondering how Maahi could not tell this to me. How can she be such a ditcher.

Have to ask her. I was getting impatient and wanted to call Maahi to know the details, but I promised Goaty. Argh!!

 

 

Ajnabee Ladki…


- “Kuch apne baare me batao. Mai tumhe jaanana chahta hu, tumhe samjhna chahta hu”

- “Acchaa!! ky  janna chahte ho?”

- “Sab kuch!, TUmhari pasand napasand, tumhare vichaar tumhare shauk..sab kuch”

-”Umm,,,Thik hai, par sunne k baad koi sawaal mat krna”

Mai
“Apni hi Dhun me Khoi rehti hu

Kabhi Gumsum udaas rehti hu

Toh Kabhi khamosh baithe

Yuhi Hans deti hu

Bheed me gungunanti rhti hu

or tanhai me shor machati hu

waise toh chup rehti hu

par khudse baaten krti hu

Kabi Kuch paane ki aas hai

toh Kabi sab aas paas h

Kabi sapne tarashti hu

toh kabi apne talashti hu

Kabi chilmilati  garmi hu

Kabi suhana mausam hu

Mai toh sagar ki leher hu

Hawaon ka safar hu

Asmaan ki seema hu

Mai toh registan ki ret hu

jakdo to fisalti hu

Badalon si ghani hu

Barf si paak hu

Mujhe samjhne ki kosis na kro

Tumhari samjh se paar hu mai.”

 

“Tum meri samjh se paar ho

Par maine b us paar jaane ki thaani h

Tumhe na samjh kar bhi

Main itna to jaan gya

Ek jaani pehchaani paheli ho tum

Bas apne hi mann ki saheli ho tum”

 

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